Arborists are Weird

First, I’d like to introduce myself as Justin Sackett. Hi.
So, the other day, I decided to go “tree climbing” with a group of pseudo-friends. I didn’t know what to expect. As a kid, tree climbing meant scaling the branches of famous New Orleans magnolias, as their low, sturdy branches are ideal for the sport. But I showed up at this “tree climbing” venue, and all i see are ropes dangling from tree branches. Turns out “tree climbing” has turned into rope climbing on trees. Pretty misleading, don’t you think? Silly arborists.

Where is the turn signal putz?

I just recently started driving. Yes, OMG I get to drive. Well it sounds all fun, but it really is quite lame. First off it is tiresome. That is right! I am even too lazy to drive. There are so many sudden stops that my leg muscle must be that equivalent to…. someone with big leg muscles I guess. There is no time to relax because your eyes must constantly scan the road for some little punk’s tricycle to fling into oncoming traffic. I hate kids and their basketballs. Maybe if they could handle the ball a little better, I could breathe everyonce in a while on the road. I always think someone is going to pull out in front of me and I run into them. Some guys have small weiners, and must prove themselves by swerving their big trucks right in front of me. Others don’t know how to use their fucking turn signals. I will be adjusting my Ipod, and all of a sudden a sharp turn is made into some driveway. I also hate people with brights on. I can not see because every mirror has a glare that blinds me. Sometimes I wish I had a ninja sword so I could slam on the brakes and slice their car in bits. I hate gas too! I drive to the mailbox down the street and my tank is half empty. Driving may have solved the means of transportation, but it threw in several other annoying problems. I hate driving and I hate you, old woman who can barely see over the huge cadillac dashboard.

McDonalds is not in my Five Year Plan

Well it seems as if i’m completely broke now, except for three dollars in my wallet that will be used to buy lunch tommarow. Hurricane Katrina pretty much ruined my life financially. Because of it, I don’t have the weight room attendant job I had only days before my city got destroyed and now i’m a vagrant that roams the streets of Bedford, Massachusetts.

Anyways, the main point is that two weeks ago I saw that Mcdonalds was having their annual Monopoly “Best Chance” game. Being displaced and unnemployed, I thought it might be smart to invest some of my money into eating at Mcdonalds which would hopefully lead to me winning a Dodge Viper or a million dollars. Bad choice. Not only am I guarranteed to have a stroke by age 23, but I’ve also failed to win anything except for a small soft drink and 2 ringtones. AND i barely have any money left.

I think that it is absolutely ridiculous that Mcdonalds is exploiting hurricane refugees in this way. It’s one thing to say that you are having a small little sweepstakes, but using phrases such as “Best Chance Game 3.0″ when the actual odds in winning a viper is 1 in 17,836,429,305 is obviously misleading. Come on Ronald, lets get serious… Theres only 6.5 billion people on earth.

This is why I’m calling for a nationwide boycott on buying Mcdonalds food until the Monopoly Game is over. When you pull up to that drive thru window, don’t order a large fries instead of the usual medium size you would usually get because of those monopoly game pieces. It’s just a waste of money and will lead to your demise. McDonalds Is not in my five year plan.

Burger King is in my Five Year Plan

October 6th, 2005. Between the hours of 3-6 pm At MailBag Express in Destrehan, Louisiana

Troy( The UPS man): My wife told me that there are a lot of jobs opening up in fast food retaurants.
Joshie: That’s cool. I never thought I could play off the Fast Food look.
Troy:My wife says that there are so litle workers that they are offering a starting pay of 9 dollars. How much do you make here?
Joshie:(jaw drops) 5.50
Troy: Damn, also you get a 3000 dollar signing bonus. Not to mention, you’re a sharp kid, you could get to managment in no time. I think they are getting a 6000 dollar signing bonus.
Joshie: Are you kidding me?
Troy: Quit this job and go work at Burger King.

As Joshie pondered at how he never wanted to work at a greasy fast food place. He never thought french fries and acne invested enviroment would suit his day to day life. In reality, he could make twice as much working at burger king, and there really is nothing hard in the job. If you mess it up, you just make another burger. Where I work, you mess up a billpay and you have that on your conscious for the next three months. Burger King may be in my five year plan.

The Refugee Card doesn’t work anymore

Four Weeks AGO
At an Express For Men in Memphis:

Cashier: Hi, will this be all for you today?
Nathan: Yes
Cashier: The total is $72.44
Nathan: I was wondering…. I just evacuated from New Orleans and cash is really tight. Is there any way I could get a discount or something.
Cashier: Oh my! Well I haven’t been told to give discounts, but i just feel so bad about all of this. I’ll give you the employee discount which is 15% off. Thank God you are safe. Everything looks so horrible on the news.

Three Days AGO
At an Express For Men in Boston:

Cashier: Thanks for shopping here today…. The total is $40.19.
Nathan: Hi… I have a question… I recently got displaced from my home because I live in New Orleans. Is there any way I could get a discount.
Cashier: I’m really sorry about that sir. But I don’t think i’m allowed to do that. Do you still want to get these items?
Nathan: Is there any way you could give me an employee discount or anything? Cash is really tight these days. I really would appreciate it…
Cashier: Sorry sir, I don’t think i’m allowed to do that.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

Welcome to the Terrordome

This was used by one of the editors of this site as a confirmation class speech at Shir Chadosh synogoge in Metaire, Louisiana back in May 2005.

“Jerry Seinfeld once said “the black and white cookie. I love the black and white cookie. Two people of flavor living side by side It’s a wonderful thing isn’t it?”
The black and white cookie portrays a beautiful image. The perfect balance between the African Americans and the Jews can form a sweet “cookie” or harmony. During the Civil Rights Movement, Jews did a lot to fight for their “persecuted brothers”. Many Jewish lawyers helped battle cases in the courtroom. They helped defeat Jim Crow and as a result housing and jobs could be opened to all Americans, regardless of the race.
I believe the main reason that the Jewish people supported African Americans is because we realize “hatred encompasses us all” If we did not stop the prejudist and bigotry going around, that same hate and anger could eventually come against us. If we allowed people to be comfortable and accept these negative attitudes about African Americans then we may be the next people to receive this injustice. So the Jews tryed to put a stop to this and played a huge role in the Civil Rights Movement. But as years started to pass, the perfect “black and white cookie” started to crumble.
One of the greatest tools of communication in this century is music. Everyone respects music artists and will do and believe anything these people discuss in their songs. What leads the pack of this musical bunch? Rap! Rap CDs have made 10 percent of all record sales since 1999. They are adored by many and have almost total freedom on the topics they rap about. And who is there audience? Teenagers are the main listeners of this music. Rap music can express poverty, hatred, violence, and yes…. even Anti-Semetic messages.
Public Enemy, a very popular and influential group have produced a number of songs with negative views toward the Jewish people. One song “Swindlers Lust” play on words from “Schindlers List” includes these lyrics: “More dollars, more cents for the big six, Another million claiming they innocence. Is it any wonder black folks going under.” These lyrics question the fact that over 6 million jews died during the Nazi campaign during the Holocaust. Also it even hints at that the problems of the African Americans should be blamed on the success of the Jews. Public Enemy put out another song called “Welcome to the Terrordome” which has the lines “Crucification aint no fiction, So called chosen frozen, apology to whoever pleases, still they got me like Jesus” This discusses the accusation that the Jews were responsible for the death of Jesus Christ.
Another famous artist, dubbed the “king of pop”, Michael Jackson produced a song called “They Don’t Care About Us.” In it this song the lines “Jew me, Sue me, Kick me, Kike me.” The derogatory word kike is used. Also the term Jew is used as a verb which can have the definition of being cheated out of money. This is horrid. 5 years ago you could flip to any channel on the television or radio and would hear about adoring fans discussing how much they loved and respected people like Michael Jackson. What is happening is millions of fans of rap and hip hop music are being exposed to the thought that it is allright to insult the Jews and use words like “kike” in regular dialouge.
What we, as Jews, need to do is show these influenced people that we are not all right with being treated in this fashion. No one should become used to being called words like “kike”. It is just immoral. We also can not just point the fingers, we must also set examples. Meaning, we can not say derragatory terms about other races and religions. Words like “shvatzi” an old yiddish word have to be erased from our regular conversations. We can not expect people to stop saying hateful words to us if we do not in return stop saying hateful words toward them.
I understand that me standing up here today discussing the anti semetic lyrics of rap and hip hop music can seem quite odd. My point is that prejudice is going past the dinner table at a home between each generation, it is reaching our media. This hate can move quite fast and infect anything along the way. If we do not attempt to settle our differences with the other people in the world, there will be no hope for the future of humanity. Through my years of growing up I have learned that though there are people who rape, cheat, steal, and put down others; there is still hope for the human race and people like me need to keep that flame lit. It is very easy to put all your problems on someone else but you must admit your faults and work hard. Only by doing this, can you truly be a successful and a respected person in your community.”

THE O.C.

Ok, so after a long time of missing episodes, i have finally started to watch The O.C. again. But what the fuck??? Marissa now goes to a hardass public school with inner city kids and cry’s after somebody mentions that she shot somebody, and the Coopers are being kicked out of their mansion. What happened to the good ol days of The O.C.? What ever happened to Luke and his gang starting house fires and beating the shit out of Seth and Ryan? What ever happened to those crazy and wild beach parties? Why don’t i see anymore lesbians kissing each other? Where has class gone? Where is the style? All I see in the show these days is a one hour long JCrew commercial. Now I don’t see anything wrong with that… In matter of fact, im pro hot chicks wearing preppy clothing, but that wasn’t the only reason I started watching The O.C.. I started watching it because the girls were hot.

Jogging is for Sissies

I have recently decided to start jogging. Now you ask yourself, “Wow there are a lot of joggers on the road these days.” Well my reasons are pretty different then the rest of the norm. I am not jogging to get the “hoes”. I am not jogging so my heart will stop hurting. I jog everyday to represent those who are not being represented by the American government. I will make a change. Once I am able to complete the distance at a decent pace, I will start to make up chants and hold signs with catchy slogans as I run everyday. I will help make a difference with the people that this corrupt government has forgotten about.

Where’s Waldo?

Find the fellow and win a prize

Rita: You Poon!

Hurricane Rita was going to be even worse than Katrina. It was recorded as the third most powerful hurricane of all time. The only effects I felt was a little breeze when I walked out to get the morning paper. Rita… what a poon!

Why are you playing football?

Shouldn’t you be doing something… like finding dead bodies… or maybe protecting our neighborhoods… or throwing away debris?

A Survivor’s Tale


Wow! What a cute kid. He is all giggly and smiling. Life is good for him. Then the Hurricane struck, and he lost many of the basic necessities in his life like Nathan Seltzer and the OC. He became what someone people consider a pessimist. He no longer was funny, but his comments became aggressive and sarcastic, and they were meant to hurt others. He wanted others to feel the same way he did. Now look at him…. He wears a bandana because he is so disgusted with himself. Gloves cover his hands because he is afraid to touch all that he has lost. His home, the one place he should feel safe, has been tossed around like a 4th grade dodgeball. There is no longer a personality of extreme laughter, but it has been replaced. Replaced with something far worse. This is Joshie Levkowitz’s tale….

In Memoriam: The Magazine Street Whole Foods

Well I don’t think im emotionally ready yet to do a full in-depth analysis of the destruction that occured to the Magazine Street Whole Foods, but i just wanted to share this picture of the roof. As you can see, there is a hole in the roof. In ancient Rome, they would have reffered to this as a compluvium.

A Little Introduction

On August 29th 2005, the most destructive hurricane in recorded history made landfall and hit my city. I was mad. I also lost contact with my good friend Joshie and couldn’t get in touch with him. Not knowing how to react, I searched numerous missing person’s databases and quickly found out that he still wasn’t accounted for. After a few days of intense searching and freaking out, I got a call from Joshie and found out he was safe. The reason I couldn’t find out where he was, was simply because the cell phone towers were all messed up. I felt stupid. So basically, this is a collaboration by me and my pal Joshie so we dont go awol

No seriously..

No seriously… I’ll fucking kill you.

A Child Ventures into the World Alone

This Beautiful Child is now without a home because of Hurricane Katrina

In Awe

“..the federal government didn’t fully do its job right, I take responsibility.”
George Bush

….Are you serious? That is a first